At the time these pictures were taken, my self confidence was soaring. I felt strong and self-assured - unshakable even. I'm happy to say that these moments are becoming more frequent. It's exhilarating. Anxiety laden days still hit me like rock when it comes. I've no prediction over this. I really wish I did. It's not debilitating, but it's enough to bother me. I'm just thankful that they don't occur as often as they used to, and that puts my mind at ease. It's very liberating. I feel this weight has been lifted off my chest and I can finally breathe. I can laugh freely. I can breathe in this fresh, spring air and truly appreciate it. I try to remember days like these. Gilded memories in the evanescent flow of time.

 If you had asked me this when I was still in elementary school, I would have blushed a bright tomato red. I was so self conscious of the moles on my face. They were the bane of my childhood. I was often teased and told that my face would be covered with them when I grew up. There is a saying in my culture, "When a fly lands on you, a mole will appear." As a kid, I thought I was terribly unlucky to be the only one to have all these horrible flies landing on my face and leaving unwanted gifts.  Unfortunately, I grew up learning that a girl is supposed to have a flawless, spotless (acne included) face and felt like I was the only one who had these "beauty marks". I would often get told that it was such a pity - that I would be pretty if it wasn't for those gosh darn moles. A plastic surgeon's assistant even insisted I come in for a consultation to remove them! Huh, imagine that for a girl's developing self esteem.

 It's strange to see this particular area - or much of my city in fact - covered in lush green meadows. A summer ago, I would never have considered climbing over train tracks and dirt paths to take photos in this very spot. This green meadow you see here is normally very dry with cracked parched earth and hardly any sign of green. The only plants you manage to see have the water and life sucked out of them from the numerous years of drought that this region has suffered. And the ones that still manage to retain their vibrant green have been knowingly and continuously watered. I'm so grateful for the last few weeks of on and off rain. I believe it was finally enough to fill the lakes and reservoirs up north, which had been almost depleted this past summer. The mountains have been blessed with snow and have remained white in all this time. And as soon as the weather warms up again, the snow will melt and trickle down even more water for our thirsty state. I hope we continue on in this fashion for a little while longer. I really do like this sort of gloomy, cloudy weather. Cloudy days really do make for the best photoshoots, IMO!

 ...to be jolly! Christmas is just days away and I feel like I'm walking in a daze of dazzling ornaments, twinkling lights and glittering tinsels. Everywhere I go, I am bombarded by displays of decked out Christmas trees and holiday streamers, brilliant and colorful under bright white lights. Every corner is a scene in itself. Scents of cinnamon and sugar and rich, sweet chocolate waft under my nose, and just a little longer, I might find myself inside a candy shop with bags full of sweets. And the nostalgic sound of classic Christmas music echo from a distance, recalling tender memories of our precious childhood. All this to say, I'm not ready for Christmas yet! I haven't wrapped any of my presents yet. I still need to sew on the eyes and nose of my fox scarves. I'm determined to knit until my hands can no longer move, stiff and clawlike. Who knows, you may find me resembling a zombie on Christmas day. Though I hope not. I want my face to be bright and cheerful, eyes sparkling with anticipation and excitement - just like those faces you see on TV.

  I attended a wedding this past weekend and was not really up for fancy attire as I'd been sick nearly the entire week. Regretfully, I couldn't make it to the ceremony. Since the reception wouldn't take place until evening, I dropped by the park to kill some time. It was a beautiful day with clouds slowly blanketing the sky, bringing temperatures down to a pleasant temperature. The wind blew soft and gentle, the rustling of leaves a comforting sound. While families were out having lively picnics and peering curiously over at me, I was quite happy spending time alone by myself at the park. Most people fear being alone in public places, but I've come to enjoy it immensely lately. It's a very liberating and peaceful feeling. Aside from the two young men who playfully shouted "Say cheese!" at me, the photoshoot went well. I'm starting to get over my anxiety of onlookers judging me or stealing my equipment.  My battery was fully charged. And no one derailed me from my purpose for 20 minutes with their lifestory this time either. 

-Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey (1817)

Oh, how lovely it was! I felt like waltzing through the flowers and singing "The Hills are Alive" with arms wide open. Too bad it was incredibly crowded! I'd do it if I was alone - probably. The weather had blessed us with a clear sunny sky, albeit 90 degree temperature. I could say, "It's such a beautiful day," over and over and it still wouldn't be enough. The drafts of gusty wind cooled us down wonderfully. Many times I've had my hat fly off my head and I'd have to chase after it.

 Would you believe me if I told you I had never watched Bambi until after I graduated college? This is no April Fool's joke. Believe it or not, that’s what happened. As a child, I’d always heard other kids talking about Bambi and Thumper. I’d seen the posters, toys, and commercials. I’d seen glimpses of the movie here and there but never the entire thing. Somehow, unexplainably, I just never got around to watching it.

 For me, it was The Lion King all the way. That was my childhood. Pocahontas was a close contender, but how could brave Pocahontas (who cares about John Smith) win over Mufasa and Simba…! Anyway, when I finally did finish the entire movie, I felt incredulous. How in the world had I not seen this as a child? It was so good! And now that I have, I can’t not think of Bambi when wearing this dress. I really can’t!

***

What I wore:

Dress: Larmoni

Sandals: New Look

Purse: Ross

Photos: John & me

-Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility (1811)

-Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice (1813)

 I discovered Larmoni not too long ago from some of my favorite bloggers. As someone who adores retro styles, I instantly fell in love. I do think the clothing are a bit pricey, but the styles are fairly unique. It seems as though they've been carefully selected. I do not feel the dress I am wearing in this photo was cheaply made at all. The zipper is sturdy and the fabric is nice. I love that there is a cotton lining inside so that it's light and breathable. I detest polyester linings, especially in the summer - they're the worst!