As I sit here and type this, I've only just recovered from a ruptured ovarian cyst. I put off blogging for quite some time as I was struggling with writing meaningful content for my readers. Most of what I've written so far seems so shallow and while they're relevant to me, who would ever be interested?

 Anyhow, today is something a little different. I had to speak of it somewhere, and I thought my experience and knowledge in the matter might help someone out there who is going through the same thing I am. This is going to be a very long and personal post so might as well make yourself comfortable. Brew a cup of relaxing tea and settle in. I wouldn't recommend snacks though. What I'm about to divulge in the ensuing paragraphs is going to be quite graphic. You've been forewarned!

 If you had asked me this when I was still in elementary school, I would have blushed a bright tomato red. I was so self conscious of the moles on my face. They were the bane of my childhood. I was often teased and told that my face would be covered with them when I grew up. There is a saying in my culture, "When a fly lands on you, a mole will appear." As a kid, I thought I was terribly unlucky to be the only one to have all these horrible flies landing on my face and leaving unwanted gifts.  Unfortunately, I grew up learning that a girl is supposed to have a flawless, spotless (acne included) face and felt like I was the only one who had these "beauty marks". I would often get told that it was such a pity - that I would be pretty if it wasn't for those gosh darn moles. A plastic surgeon's assistant even insisted I come in for a consultation to remove them! Huh, imagine that for a girl's developing self esteem.

  I apologize in advance for the brevity of this past as I've got to catch up on all the fox scarves I promised friends and family I'd knit and give away as presents this Christmas. As it is, I'm super behind and have finished only a few. Anyway, a little bit about this vintage cardigan: I discovered this lovely gem some time ago before I banned myself from thrift shopping (I go way too often). My eyes were drawn to the color and pattern like moths to the glow of light. I don't think I can find anything else like this and that's what makes it so special.

 And so we come to this at last. The Velvet Panoply. I felt this name perfectly reflected the reason why I dress the way I do. I grew up with friends who weren't as interested in clothes/appearance as I was and often felt overdressed when we went anywhere. I was very self conscious of this but did not let it bother me because I felt comfortable and safe in the dress or blouse/skirt I wore. I felt like me. I love to wear soft, pretty, feminine things. This is who I am. I don't wear these things to garner attention. Attention is the last thing I want but because I differ from others around me, I obviously do stick out like a sore thumb at times. But I am happiest and brightest when I dress for myself. Just like a gleaming armor is part of a knight, my clothes are an extention of me. I feel good and condident.  I feel powerful in my own way. Do I need them to feel like this? No. And I honestly think as a matter of self expression, it is key to do what makes one happy. If I am seen as vain or conceited because I'd rather slip on my pretty clothes, then so be it. It surely will not be the death of me.

 I've been itching to wear this mock neck top ever since autumn officially began but weather in SoCal has been consistently in the high 80-90s. I despaired of ever experiencing fall in October because I honestly feel in my heart that it is the perfect autumnal month. How can one resist all those plump orange pumpkins decorating all the patches and the front of stores? How can one resist the beautiful russet transformation of leaves - do keep in mind most of the trees in California are evergreens so I can only live vicariously through others (sobs eternally). Anyway, as soon as the weather dropped to 75F, which I considered cool enough, I threw this top on and wore it gleefully all day.

 I went with an entirely different look with this outfit. It just screams 90s to me. But my eyes could be defective. You can be the judge of that. While I don't think I can pull off the iconic chokers and brown/mauve lipstick and still look like myself, I feel like one of those women in the old karaoke vinyl records my parents used to play when I was smaller. I find myself cringing at the thought of it.  The videos themselves were incredibly cheesy but they sure do bring back lots of fond memories. Not sure if anyone will understand but if you do, more power to you!

I think I've finally found my niche: thrifted/vintage clothing. Took me long enough. A year of blogging without any real direction. As you already know, I've always had a great love for vintage clothing, but never really put myself out there and aggressively search in thrift shops like I do now. This increased activity is actually serving me a purpose, but more on that another time. Until then, it's a secret! Anyway, this skirt I'm wearing was from a recent thrifting adventure. It was so interesting that I pondered over it for a while, thinking what a peculiar and clever thing it was!

 So, I really had no idea that Miley Cyrus made clothing (I don't really follow celebrities). Well, imagine my surprise when I picked this romper off the rack while thrift shopping. I was drawn by the floral print and style of the romper itself. It screamed 90s to me and we all know very well how popular that style is nowadays. While I do think rompers in general are a pain to wear, what bothers me more is how naked I feel when I use the restroom - especially the public ones! I get a tad bit paranoid that some prying eye might be peeking into the little crack between the door stalls. It's probably all in my head but a girl can't help it when she's had to practically undress.

 As an effort to be a more conscious consumer, I've decided to choose thrift/vintage shopping as my main mode of acquiring "new" clothes. I recently uncovered this darling dress at my local thrift store. I was first drawn to its sweet floral print. Not obnoxiously loud but lovely and delicate. And as you already know, I'm a sucker for those sorts of things. Its lightweight material makes for a great summer dress. It isn't vintage, but that doesn't bother me. If it's something I like, I'll go for it - nevermind if it isn't at least 20 years old!

 I almost didn't want to wear this outfit just because I felt like I was showing too much skin. But then I realized that this was nothing compared to other people who wear super short shorts (I can literally see their butt cheeks!) and revealing tops in the summer. I figured I was safe. Anyway, I would only wear this sort of crop top if my bottom piece was high waisted - like this H&M skirt (I wore it once here). I'm not one to feel terribly comfortable baring my midriff for all the world to see. However, I couldn't loved the marsala color and eyelet details so much that I was determined to find a way to work it into my wardrobe. There was a matching skirt but all the ones in my size were gone (and I didn't think it was worth the price anyway).

 Right after these photos were taken, we were chased off by security. While it's not private property, it's not exactly public property either. I've been here multiple times with and without permission so I was surprised when the security lady told us to leave. I probably won't be coming back to this area anymore as I'd rather avoid trouble. It's too bad though. Such a pretty little place with tons of photo opportunities! And as it was, we didn't get to finish the shoot so we went to our local library that's got this lovely grassy area with beautiful trees.

   Now that I'm determined to grow my hair to at least waist length after 4+ years of shoulder length hair, I've finally started using conditioner.  I remember my mother blasting the waves out of my hair with a blow dryer set on high heat in an attempt to control my wild mass of frizzy hair. Let's just say, that was not the answer to controlling unruly hair. I truly believed conditioner was going to weigh down my hair and make it greasy. Was it any wonder why my hair often looked like a rat's nest (or one of those straw brooms according to my mother)?

   Well, after 8 years without it, I now saturate the length of my hair with Yes to Carrots Nourishing conditioner every time I wash my hair. The frizz is much more manageable and the waves are more defined. Took me this long to realize that my hair had been screaming for moisture all these years. I almost feel bad.

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What I wore:

Top: Forever21

Skirt: thrifted

Sandals: ASOS

Photos: John & me

 I get a real kick out of photographing in tight city areas in which it appears as if I'm traversing the countryside. It really is an eye-opener to stumble upon these kinds of places. If you recall my fascination with power lines, you'll understand that I've always wanted to get real close to one. This nursery had a "Private Property" sign posted to the diamond wire gates. Normally, it's locked tight. However, we found it unlocked that day. How lucky, I thought. The gates were swung wide open, beckoning us with a loud and welcoming, "Please come in!". And so we did - only a few feet though. The last thing I wanted to do was to have someone chasing us out with a broom or worse! This is as close as I'll probably ever get.

 We had originally planned to drive down to San Diego for Phil’s BBQ and visit the Flower Fields along the way. However, I wanted to see the flowers underneath bright, lovely sunshine and that was not going to happen. We woke up on Saturday to the loud thunder of rain pounding on the roof over our heads. I checked the forecast just in case and yep, 100% chance of rain and cloud cover. That vision of me standing in the fields happy smiling as the sun beat down on me was not going to happen. So, ended our plans for that Saturday.

 When I think of the holidays coming up, I immediately think of lush velvet dresses or skirts. I scored this beauty at my local thrift store a couple of years ago. It's the most beautiful velvet, wintry green skirt I've ever laid eyes on. Oh, a most beloved treasure. And it was only about $6! It was in lovely condition - barely worn at all. Those front pockets are real and it's got two tiny slits at back of the skirt, which I thought were quite charming. I've worn it every holiday season since I've had it and I love it more and more each time. The blazer I wore with the outfit was also purchased at the same time for $4, which I thought was a rather amazing. I adore anything with elbow patches. It's supposed to be a little boy's tweed blazer but I think it fit me pretty well. You can be the judge of that...!

You see, I've got a soft spot for buttons - big, small, oblong, square. I don't discriminate; I love them all. I picked up this button-up shirt from my local thrift store and fell head-over-heels for its adorable floral print. I initially thought they were apples at first, which was the real reason I actually even noticed it. I still like to pretend they are though. The lapel on the collar is quite large, but I think it looks perfectly charming. The shirt itself looks to be handmade. I somehow find these types of finds even more precious. 

 When I arrived in Wichita, Kansas after a five hour long drive from Dallas, Texas in a behemoth 15-seater van, I was slightly disappointed that autumn had not yet settled here either. I was hoping to escape Southern California's scathing heat and fall into another season in Dallas, but that was not to be. So, I set my sights on Wichita, hoping it would grant me my wish. Alas, my whims were denied. I was not going to allow my disappointment to dampen my time in this beautiful city, however. It was much quieter and calmer here, and I discovered that I had really taken a liking to Wichita. I even pondered moving here in the next few years. While Southern California is beginning to look more and more like a desert due to the severe drought, Wichita was a lush green paradise to my sore eyes.

 As you know by now, at this moment, I've already left California for a week's visit with family in Texas and Kansas. This outfit was shot some time ago in this quaint little heritage museum. We wandered in and discovered this old wagon, which we thought was pretty neat. I didn't think the dress I wore was out of place in that it was dated - thrifted vintage to be exact. It reminded me of an older, perhaps traditional, island attire. I adore the lapel of this dress and it's got a lovely square dotted print. I can't help but think of a village in the countryside in which women wore this. And I also see fields of rice paddies for some reason. Please do feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. I claim my ignorance of the story behind this dress.

Slowly like the sun as it peeks softly through the clouds after a long, hard rain, I'm beginning to see the world in brighter colors. And so it is that my wardrobe would change and evolve to reflect my disposition. I'm quite fond of this midi length lace skirt. I found it while thrift shopping during my stay in Japan. The shop soon became my favorite and I returned to it on multiple occasions. From time to time, I catch myself smiling at its warm yellow flowers, recalling nostalgic feelings of past memories. It's beginning to show signs of wear and tear. I'm not yet ready to let go of it, so most likely I won't wear as often. It's a pity. Yellow in any shade is my favorite color to wear and it goes well with this blouse.

 I've been told countless times to avoid blouses with a high collar, like this button-up, because it would accentuate the roundness of my face. Knowing that, I still developed a deep attachment towards this type of garment. I will just have to suffer an ungainly appearance for something I love. I won't wear a turtleneck, however. It makes me uncomfortable like my neck is being squeezed and I really can't bear that feeling.

 Having spotted a large yellow Monarch butterfly, I could not help but look on with a certain glee. I don't come across butterflies very often, and when I do, they are a thing of wonder. You see, I'm not particularly fond of bugs. A writhing, slimy earthworm and just like a cat, I will leap a mile away. I kid you not. I've got witnesses. However, I cannot deny a butterfly's delicate beauty. They slowly emerge from their cocoons, iridescent wings softly fluttering and powder thin. A touch could blow them away. I think it's rather morbid that they live only a few precious days in this state of splendor. They will never land on me, or so I hope.

There was this guy I knew at the fashion district in downtown Los Angeles where I used to work. He once told me he'd never seen anyone dressed like me, said I was different and that it was refreshing. That was the first day I wore this skirt. I paid less than a burger for it, and I love it to bits! I have seen shorter versions of this button denim skirt, and even contemplated getting it hemmed, but for now I like it just the way it is.

These photos were taken after donating a couple bags of old clothes on Wednesday, as it was "National Give Something Away Day". I wanted to do some thrift shopping as well, but was short on time (and still needed to clear out my closet).

What I wore:

Top: mall boutique

Skirt: H&M, thrifted

Sandals: Asos

 I had bought this vintage dress once upon a time ago and loved the fabric and the structure, but it kept reminding me of funeral attire. Very prim and proper, if you will. I was subconsciously adverse to wearing it, but quite unwilling to let it go. My mom saw how beautiful the skirt of the dress was, and suggested I cut it. "Oh," I uttered softly. Wondered why it never occurred to me before. I went into a frenzy that same afternoon and altered several vintage clothing. In my eagerness to wear this skirt, I didn't realize was how see-through it was until it was too late. Probably why people were giving me stares... Must remember to wear a shift underneath next time.

 I normally don't do my hair, but felt inspired after reading this post. While it looks no way as beautiful as that, I thought it looked nice anyway. Ohh, look at all that frizz...

What I wore:

Shirt: Sample sale in Fashion District

Skirt: Vintage from Ebay

Flats: Target