Outfit: The Question of Beauty Marks

 If you had asked me this when I was still in elementary school, I would have blushed a bright tomato red. I was so self conscious of the moles on my face. They were the bane of my childhood. I was often teased and told that my face would be covered with them when I grew up. There is a saying in my culture, "When a fly lands on you, a mole will appear." As a kid, I thought I was terribly unlucky to be the only one to have all these horrible flies landing on my face and leaving unwanted gifts.  Unfortunately, I grew up learning that a girl is supposed to have a flawless, spotless (acne included) face and felt like I was the only one who had these "beauty marks". I would often get told that it was such a pity - that I would be pretty if it wasn't for those gosh darn moles. A plastic surgeon's assistant even insisted I come in for a consultation to remove them! Huh, imagine that for a girl's developing self esteem.



 Then, one day while at the mall with my family (I was still little then), I passed by this beautiful, tall African American woman who stopped me - trust me when I say my moles are very visible. She looked at me and then said to me in her soft, clear voice, "Oh, how cute. You've got a mole just like me." She pointed to the one near her mouth and grinned before continuing on her way. The only reason why this stuck with me to this day is because I had never considered moles to be cute before. Everyone always said how cute freckles were but no one ever mentioned anything about moles. 


 One more story. I was in sixth grade, a girl-child and fully aware of the changes taking place in her body by the twisted mechanism that mother nature employs (hello, shark week). We were doing some sort of creative activity and this big, tall boy leaned over and said that the mole near my nose and mouth looked like a heart. Well, that was one hell of a shocker. I'd always hated that one the most because it was the biggest! To think that in the eyes of another, it could take on a whole different shape, a whole different meaning. I learned that very day the meaning of perspective.

  And now, if you ask me about my beauty marks, I'll smile and tell you all about them! They don't bother me at all. I actually forget they're even there sometimes. I don't care if you see them and think my face is flawed because in actuality it is. I don't have smooth, baby soft skin. I've got pores and I still do occasionally get acne. I've got wrinkles that come naturally with age and laughter. And all these numerous moles dotting my face and will be there forever until I die. I'm not perfect and that's okay too.



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What I wore:
Coat: H&M
Blouse: Larmoni
Skirt: thrifted
Oxfords: eBay
Photos: John & me

CONVERSATION

2 comments:

  1. Oh wow, I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you.
    I think your mole makes your face look more, well, you. If you had them removed one day, I don't think I'd be able to recognise you anymore—exaggeration, I know. Personally, I find them cute too!
    On the outfit, I love it as a whole! The skirt with that belt looks like a dream. And the top is so gorgeous, you matched them well ;)

    P.S: in Indonesia, we call such moles/beauty marks "tahi lalat", which means "flies' poop." Perhaps a similar saying can be found in our country too.

    Alive as Always

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    1. Thank you, dear Bivi! Didn't help that I was naturally very shy and hated being put in the spotlight. Ah, well. Being a child/teenager is already an awkward experience in itself! I'm guessing moles are regarded in the same way in Indonesia considering how the word translates to "flies' poop". Hahaha. It's basically the same in Vietnamese as well. Hope you're doing well!

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